They say that there are a few days in June 2006 which are good for marriage unions and i know many couples who are going to make that final commitment on this auspicious occasion. I wish them all the happiness and luck.
Happiness; because i often find my own happiness short lived and therfore believe that those who have found it in a significant other should hang on to it with dear life. It is always worth repeating that one should never take a loved one for granted and should count their lucky stars to be able to say that THEY have someone who would always treat them with respect and care.
Luck; because in life, only a select few will win the top prize. And even those who have been so fortunate to enjoy this windfall have to take care to protect their winnings because it is all too easy to squander it away with foolish gambles.
I say all these because on this day, i start a new chapter in my life as a single individual desparately clinging to the ideal that i will learn to love myself enough before i let someone else into my heart.
In a nutshell, i have committed the offense of falling in love with someone who had already made a committment to marry someone else - an innocent individual none the wiser of my existence and who now has to deal with the fact there was a third party.
It's true i should have run as far as i could with this knowledge, but nectarine sweet words coated my logical reasoning;
promises of cancelling the wedding because i am the real one for him...
promises that he will prove to me that the marriage is only a deal...
the promise that someday i will be the only one.
The ceremony has proceeded as planned, with happy photographs of smiling images that will forever be enshrined within my mind, leaving my bleeding heart trailing in the dust.
These past few months, i have let my standards of right and wrong, black and white be marred by sweet nothings of a person who claimed to love me yet forsaked me. This experience has only reiterated my view that fairy tales are just that, fairy tales never come true.
Don't be mistaken, i still believe in the sanctity of the marriage union, that two individuals so divided by space and time, could bump into each other within this vast cosmic universe and realise that they could hold each other, till death do them part. I'm just a bit tad cynical that it could ever happen to me for i have tried and failed time and again to let someone convince me that i'm the Gem of their life, that i would be the only one to bring them happiness. Bollacks to anyone who could make such a statement for i am still waiting for him to say these things and stay for good.